Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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