she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
