Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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