I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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