so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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