The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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