i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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