i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
