are you so shy because you have an std?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
