I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wannas sexs uuuuu
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
