is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
