haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
