I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
and you fell through a lawn chair
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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