this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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