I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The adults are the big ones right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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