I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
