Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
