At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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