I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
