I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
