I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
