Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
