'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
