Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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