Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize