I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
