Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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