i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
honey bunches of taint.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
