Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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