I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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