Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
