Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
