i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
