so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
