Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
