y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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