There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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