So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
