Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
