it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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