I just made out with a guy for $7.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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