I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
