Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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