So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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