We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
