Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
