I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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