i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
accomplished twins. life is a go
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
