apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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