oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
