no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I lost the right to judge tonight
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
