when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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