dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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