Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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