You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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