So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
