This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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