haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
