part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
