sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
bring money and cleavage
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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