I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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