A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
