.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
